Official: Liverpool Announce Minority Sale to Bezos-Backed Consortium

Liverpool Football Club have today announced the sale of a minority stake of the club to a consortium including the third-richest person in the world, Jeff Bezos, who basically everyone who doesn’t live on LinkedIn thinks is an amoral civilization-devouring ghoul that the world would be better off without.

Former Queens Park Rangers co-owner and relatively inoffensive nepo billionaire Amit Bhatia, whose father Arun Bhatia runs investment firm Elestra Tradeplace and co-founded AirAsia with Bhatia the younger using that leg up in life to help him marry into the even richer Mittal family, will be the face of said consortium.

“The strategic investment supports Liverpool FC’s long-term growth ambitions by bringing together experts from across global business, technology and investment,” read a statement from the club today announcing the £1.65B sale of 30% of the club to a bunch of dudes who would pay their taxes and help keep the society they’ve built their fortunes on the back of ticking over except sorry they really need that money to buy a bigger yacht.

“The consortium partners will work with Fenway Sports Group and the club’s leadership team to evaluate opportunities that enhance the club’s objectives on and off the pitch. FSG continues to retain majority ownership and operational control of Liverpool FC.”

Along with Bhatia, the consortium is backed by the Mittal Family Trusts, run by Lakshmi Mittal, Bhatia’s father-in-law and owner of the world’s second largest steel company, along with the aforementioned Bezos via his K5 Sports venture fun and Facebook co-founder Eduardo Saverin’s EE Capital (seriously, can someone check if he’s got his Prada back from the cleaners yet?).

While the club have sought to signal that FSG remain controlling owners in the present, the deal reportedly does include options for the techbro oligarch-backed consortium to buy a larger and potentially controlling stake in the club over the next year at a valuation of £8B.

So. Anyhow. The hoarding of resources and commodification of joy by the ultra-wealthy will continue until morale improves while the social safety net fails and the fabric of society is stretched to its breaking point, and if you don’t like it some weird dipshit will be along in five minutes to chide you for saying mean things about the billionaire he’s developed a parisocial relationship with and spends his free time stanning for online.

It’s the nature of modern football, I guess. And the world. At least it’s not Elon Musk so we don’t have to worry about Anfield being renamed Grokfield or something, I guess. But hey maybe Anfield Prime? That’d be fun and no self-respecting amoral billionaire would leave a monetization opportunity like that on the table!

“We are incredibly proud to be investing in Liverpool Football Club and to be doing so alongside FSG,” Bhatia, who again is at least relatively inoffensive as far as ultra-rich civilization-eaters go, said of the deal. “We have the utmost respect and admiration for FSG as owners and for everything they have achieved at Anfield.

“To be welcomed as a partner in a club of this stature is a huge privilege. We are making this investment because we believe deeply in Liverpool and its leadership, and we look forward to supporting the club’s continued success for years to come.”